Dunno if you know, but the Rapture could be happening on Sat 21st May, this very year!!
Apparently christians (but only the "right sort" of christian, who believes) will be sucked up to heaven, along with all past dead christians.
People such as I shall remain behind, cos I'm a prick.
Those who stay with me are going to live in some sort of torment, until around October this year, when quite literally, all hell breaks loose.
Torment, pffft, I've been married.
Anyways, below is a ride report, of a very important ride I did today.
By the way, I'm not a christian, I'm a believer in the "Sky Moose", the benevolent being that looks after those that dislike the Bovines that drive c@rs.
<end preamble>
Three days of struggling through pages and pages of Beige had taken toll on the few remaining braincells.
I needed some restorative, STAT!
What would any Motorcyclist do to regain equilibrium?
RIDE FUCKEN!
So I did. I had urgent work to do on mind and soul to rid me of the self inflicted persecution that was the study of traffic safety in Australia, so there's fuck all foto's, mkay?
A map of the short jaunt is here for your perusal, should you wish.
I dropped in at Sheffield, a tidy little town, for lunch.
There were many Bovine steering Aussie flag bedecked automobiles.
There were many of what I would describe as "clowns" in leather, on Harleys, and Harley clones.
There was a bevy of adventure touring types, on a herd of V-strom and Wee-strom.
Luckily, they all stayed in Sheffield and left me the fuck alone.
Whilst listening to such wondrous sounds as Hunters and Collectors, Gorillas, and Smash Mouth via the Hamsterfonegps, I contemplated the place where Barney and I might observe the "Rapture".
There are strange place names around here. Paradise, Promised Land, and Nowhere else.
Now, dunno about you, but the whole rapture thing is, well... religious. Paradise, Promised land, religious sounding as well.
It seems only fitting that the witnessing of Rapture when it happens, er.. if it happens, should occur in the area of these ridiculously named towns.
Trouble is, Paradise and Promised land, as they appear locally, are, umm, full of nothing to be honest.
But the roads around them truly are rapturous.
I know, cos I just rode them.
They are my "backyard" so to speak. 10 minutes from home or work max, and I'm in Grinsville, in the shire of Grinsborough, Grinningland, on the world of Fun.
I meandered around the roads, no route or place in mind, I just "went somewhere".
I ended up at a little camping ground, picnic area thingy, with toilets, BBQ's, fireplaces, and an undercover area, should the weather turn not clement.
Here is a picture of the VFR being all sneaky like, hiding behind a tree, awaiting the opportunity to leap out and attack an unsuspecting Bovine.
This is another aspect of the place to witness (or not) Rapture.
Here is an ant, trying to pull a still alive bee, up a dirty great sign. The ant nearly got to the top, but fell to the bottom three times while I was watching. No interference on my part.
The ant eventually dragged the bee to the top of the sign, and down the other side.
I could find nothing on the other side, apart from a large drop, and dirt.
There must be a moral to this.........
It's not the size of the ant in the fight that's important, but the size of fight in the ant?
no, that's not it...
Struggle is futile?
No, not that either...
Obstacles are there for the strong to overcome, but if the ant had brains it would go around them?
True, but no, not that......
I GET IT!
It is a sign from the moose on high that the lemmings heading to rapture have struggled for nothing!
All they will get is a long drop from high expectation to the pits of despair!
YES!
The Moose has shown me the way, he guided my travels and showed me the sign of the ant struggling with the bee.
I shall observe the Rapture (or not) at the place called "Leven Canyon". For it has been foretold to me by the Skymoose.
This must be true, why else would he guide me on a wondrous trip down the west coast for a week, with nary a drop of rain?
Who else but the Moose saved me from getting a 60 cents over the dollar punishment from Cunty McSmirk, and before that, converted a 2 point and $250 fine into naught but a caution?
The Echidna's were a sign as well, but fucked if I can work out how, just at this time.
Fear me Fuckers, for I am the Mooses' chosen one.
I AM THE MOOSIAH!
So endeth the lesson,
in the name of The Moose, The Mad Bastard, and The Holey Zorst!
<start postamble>
I shall be going to this place on Rapture (or not) Day.
Skymoose speaks to me, he has told me to take tent, sleeping bag, food, water ( for many beasts wallow in the creek from where the water comes from) and Alcoholic beverages.
The ground is covered in soft grass, so falling over shall be pleasure, not pain. I intend to drink, and fall over, at least once.
I shall have a breakfast of eggs and bacon, which is the true feast of Moose followers, and maybe some pancakes.
I shall then ride in a random direction, and later make it home.
You may join me, or not, as is your want.
<end postamble>
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